Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards (English

Description: Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards Do you feel awkward at networking events? Do you wonder what your date really thinks of you? Do you wish you could decode people? You need to learn the science of people. As a human behavior hacker, Vanessa Van Edwards created a research lab to study the hidden forces that drive us. And shes cracked the code. In Captivate, she shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of your interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These arent the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on how to captivate anyone—and a completely new approach to building connections. Just like knowing the formulas to use in a chemistry lab, or the right programming language to build an app, Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems. Youll learn, for example… · How to work a room: Every party, networking event, and social situation has a predictable map. Discover the sweet spot for making the most connections. · How to read faces: Its easier than you think to speed-read facial expressions and use them to predict peoples emotions. · How to talk to anyone: Every conversation can be memorable—once you learn how certain words generate the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners. When you understand the laws of human behavior, your influence, impact, and income will increase significantly. Whats more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches. Youll never interact the same way again. FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Author Biography Vanessa Van Edwards is a researcher, speaker, and writer on people skills and interpersonal intelligence. Her behavior research lab, The Science of People, has been featured in Fast Company, Inc., Mens Health, Forbes, and on Fox News. She is a monthly columnist for Entrepreneur, the leading instructor in people skills on Udemy and CreativeLive, and has led trainings at a number of Fortune 500 companies around the world. She lives with her husband in Portland, Oregon. Review "Everything Vanessa does is captivating, but this book is her masterpiece. Nearly every page contains surprising insights and practical tips to help you succeed more in life." —CHRIS GUILLEBEAU, author of The Happiness of Pursuit and host of Side Hustle School "If youve ever thought I hope they have a dog at this dinner party so that I dont have to talk to anyone, read this book. Hello Captivate, good-bye awkward moments." —JON ACUFF, author of Do Over "There is a big difference between faking your way into building relationships and deeply understanding the science of what makes people tick so that you can naturally and effectively connect with them. Captivate teaches this science in a fun and accessible way, so that you apply the learning in your everyday life, growing your network, influence, and impact." —PAMELA SLIM, author of Body of Work "This book is rewarding regardless of your level of skill in getting along with others." —ART MARKMAN, PhD, coauthor of Brain Briefs"Captivate is packed full of useful information for anyone interested in improving their social skills—its a must read." —JOE NAVARRO, former FBI agent, body language expert, and author of What Every BODY is Saying "In Captivate, Vanessa Van Edwards has not only decoded the secret formula for what makes people tick, she also explains how to harness and put the latest people science into action."—JORDAN HARBINGER, founder of The Art of Charm "Full of helpful tips, actionable anecdotes, and fascinating research, Captivate is the consummate wingman (or woman)—a book youll hear whispering in your ears, giving you social superpowers." —JENNY BLAKE, author of Pivot "Vanessa Van Edwards is pure gold, and this book is an invaluable guide to harnessing the science of what makes people tick. A must read if you want to use its power for good inside your company, cause, or career." —CHASE JARVIS, CEO of CreativeLive Review Quote "Everything Vanessa does is captivating, but this book is her masterpiece. Nearly every page contains surprising insights and practical tips to help you succeed more in life." --CHRIS GUILLEBEAU, author of The Happiness of Pursuit and host of Side Hustle School "If youve ever thought I hope they have a dog at this dinner party so that I dont have to talk to anyone, read this book. Hello Captivate, good-bye awkward moments." --JON ACUFF, author of Do Over "There is a big difference between faking your way into building relationships and deeply un Excerpt from Book Chapter 1 Control How to win the social game Once upon a time, a boy named Harry was teased for wearing thick glasses and having a bookish streak. When the time came to apply to college, he took jobs as a timekeeper in a railroad construction company and as a shelf duster in a pharmacy to support his family. No one would have guessed that this shy boy would one day become the thirty-third president of the United States. The story of Harry S. Truman is surprising because he doesnt fit the stereotypical booming presidential personality. On July 19, 1944, this posed a problem. Truman was facing the biggest opportunity of his career. He was vying for the vice presidential nomination at the Democratic National Convention. The odds were not in his favor. Then-president Franklin D. Roosevelt had already publicly supported his contender, Henry Wallace, a gifted public speaker and the current vice president. Truman was not a gifted public speaker-and he knew it. His team had to draw the battle off the main stage to make the convention work to Trumans strength: one-on-one rapport building. All day, they pulled delegates into a private, air-conditioned room underneath the platform, called Room H. The convention hall was stiflingly hot, so delegates literally breathed a breath of fresh air as they listened to Trumans pitch and began to cool off. Then he spent hours standing at the end of the hallway, shaking hands with passing members. Instead of waiting for the results in his hotel room (which is what Henry Wallace and most of the candidates tended to do), Truman ordered a hot dog and sat with his wife in the audience. In the first ballot, Wallace had 429.5 votes and Truman received 319.5 votes. A second ballot was called immediately. Truman had to win friends and he had to win them fast. Instead of making a grand speech, Truman and his team kicked into full gear, working party leaders, delegates, and influential members of the crowd one by one. He worked a solid connection with the right person and then let them convince their people for him. At 8:14 p.m. the results were announced. Truman led with 1,031 votes to Wallaces 105. He gained 712 votes in a matter of hours. A few minutes later, Truman gave one of the shortest acceptance speeches in history. He stood patiently at the bank of microphones, and when the audience had finally quieted down he said, "Now, give me a chance." Truman understood his strengths and played to them. He optimized his interactions for success, and so can you. The Science of Fake Imagine its your dream to play professional basketball. Youre fast and have great ball-handling skills. You also happen to be six feet two inches tall. You have two choices: You could play center, but the average height of an NBA center is six feet eleven inches. If you went for center, you would have to fake your height by wearing lifts during games and spending a ton of extra hours after practice working on your vertical jump. Or you could play point guard, where the average height is six feet two inches. You wouldnt have to make up for extra inches with your jump-you could just focus on playing. Feigning extroversion is like trying to play center with lifts on. Trying to socially fake it until you make it burns a whole lot of extra energy and doesnt really work. It also comes across as inauthentic. In a Science of People survey, we asked 1,036 of our readers the following question: Which of these people habits annoy you the most? People who are too talkative People who are too quiet People who are fake People who show off Can you guess which won? "C. People who are fake" led the board by far with 63 percent. "D. People who show off" was a distant second (22 percent). Fake doesnt just happen when youre trying to be something youre not. If you dont like someone, they will feel it. If you are unhappy at an event, people will sense it. Pushing through, faking it, trying to make it work-simply doesnt work. Dr. Barbara Wild and her associates found that our emotions are infectious. First, her team showed people pictures of happy or sad faces. Then they gave them a series of mood tests. They found they could "infect" participants with the emotions in each image. Very simply, after viewing a happy face, participants felt more positive. After viewing a sad face, participants felt more negative. Heres whats crazy: They only flashed each image for 500 milliseconds! Only 500 milliseconds is barely enough time for participants to even register they had seen a face, and they still caught the emotion. Dr. Wild even found that our smile muscles unconsciously tend to mimic the smiles around us. We are happier around happy individuals, and we thrive with thriving people. When you force yourself to go to events you are dreading, you are not only miserable, but your misery is contagious. Think you can just fake it until you make it? Think again! We can spot a fake smile a mile away. Over 4,361 people have taken our virtual Body Language Quiz to test their nonverbal intelligence. In one question we show participants a genuine smile hidden among three fake smiles. Over 86.9 percent of participants are correctly able to pick out the genuine smile. Researchers at the University of Finland showed one group images of fake smiles and another group images of real smiles. Like this: A B Can you guess which smile is real and which is the fake? Image A shows a fake smile, and Image B shows a genuine smile. When participants looked at the real smiles, they felt a positive mood change. But when participants looked at the fake smiles, their mood remained the same. (For more on how you can tell the difference, turn to Chapter 6.) Faking it until you make it is not worth the effort. Happy people make us happy, but fake happy people-they are forgettable. The first step in winning the social game is to control the situations you play in. Only interact in places where you dont have to fake it. No matter how many behavior hacks you learn, if you go to events that make you unhappy, it will be incredibly difficult to increase your memorability. When you feel great, other people pick up on it and want in on it. When you drag yourself to an event because you feel like you "should make an appearance," you are the party pooper. And you smell up the event. This is why you need to have a Social Game Plan. Confidence is contagious and so is lack of confidence, and a customer will recognize both. -Vince Lombardi Your Social Game Plan Heres the worst piece of advice I was ever given: Say yes to everything. Say yes to networking events, coffees with strangers, and random conferences, because you never know what opportunity might come your way. As the science shows, this is a big smelly sack of baloney. Unfortunately, it took me years to figure this out. When I first started my blog, I was trying to find any paid writing gig I possibly could. So almost every weeknight, I trudged out to the professional circuit. I prepared for these networking events like I was going into battle, loading up on fat stacks of business cards, fistfuls of no-nonsense pens, and multiple personalized name tags. My uniform consisted of sensible shoes, casual professional attire, perfume, and a news anchor smile. I fought. For attention, for business, for a break from the interminable boredom of having the same conversation over and over again. After three years of this nonsense (and at least ten pounds from eating so many platters of pigs in a blanket), I threw in the towel. I wasnt making any real connections, I wasnt drumming up business, and I certainly wasnt having a good time. Why? I wasnt working to my strengths. Like Truman, I do much better in one-on-one situations. I get overwhelmed by loud rooms with lots of people. Trying to cover up my anxiety with fake smiles just made me come across as inauthentic-and thats the problem. What I needed was a game plan. HACK #1: The Social Game Plan Take control of your interactions and play by your social rules. Who says you have to play by other peoples rules? Not me! I want you to create your own. Your Social Game Plan will help you find the position thats perfect for you: where you play your best, feel the most comfortable, and are set up for the greatest success. Skill #1: Play Your Position Most people skills books try to force you into one approach-the bubbly extrovert. They want you to fake it until you make it. They expect you to be "on" all the time with everyone you meet. This is impossible. You can get along with anyone, but you dont have to get along with everyone. The Social Game Plan isnt just about mapping out your strategy, its also about leveraging your social strengths. Athletes arent expected to play every position on a team, so you shouldnt try to engage in every social role. Play to your position. This will also make it easier to try all of the hacks youve learned. At our human behavior lab, "The Thrive Test" asks participants about their favorite places to socialize. Before seeing the results, fill out your answers below. Check off all the places where you greatly ENJOY spending time with other people-and feel Details ISBN0399564497 Author Vanessa Van Edwards Short Title CAPTIVATE Pages 352 Language English ISBN-10 0399564497 ISBN-13 9780399564499 Format Paperback DEWEY 302 Year 2018 Publication Date 2018-06-19 Imprint Portfolio Subtitle The Science of Succeeding with People Country of Publication United States AU Release Date 2018-06-19 NZ Release Date 2018-06-19 US Release Date 2018-06-19 UK Release Date 2018-06-19 Place of Publication New York Publisher Penguin Putnam Inc Illustrations PHOTOGRAPHS THROUGHOUT Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:118353742;

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